Go to hell!

Tom Brady is going to hell, according to some church in North Carolina, because he has a baby mama, to whom he is not married, among other reasons.
The Amazing Grace Baptist Church recently put out a list of athletes who are headed for damnation, and Brady is among the headliners.
It’s easy to dismiss this list as an organization of Christian nut jobs trying to make headlines, but they’re right about Brady.

Do you know how I know?

Because I am almost certainly going to hell (if there is one, which I doubt), and in my version of hell, I have to believe Brady will be there.

But we’ll have company, according to the brilliant minds at Amazing Grace Baptist Church. Among the other evil souls on the list are former NFL safety Adam Archuleta (who’s engaged to and has a child with a Playboy Playmate), Bulls forward Joakim Noah (long hair is offensive to God), and Richard Petty (worships racing, cheated to win).

With these kinds of standards, is any pro athlete safe? Jesus (lord’s name taken in vain on purpose), even A.C. Green is probably going to hell, and I’m pretty sure he’s still a virgin.

Maybe this is why there are so many over-the-top Christian athletes (looking at you, Tim Tebow), who as George Carlin once said, praise Jesus whenever they win … but never mention his name when they lose.

Having sex and dating or marrying models are sinful acts, so athletes try to balance that out with devout faith.

Hey, good luck to them. Hopefully that helps keep them off the Amazing Grace Baptist Church’s naughty list.

But if hell has the kind of clientele I think it will, along with the athletes this church claims will be there, it shouldn’t be half bad.