Friday, August 13, 2010

Love those Rex-pletives

Rex Ryan issued an apology Thursday for what some would call excessive profanity he used in the debut of the HBO series, “Hard Knocks,” which follows the New York Jets and their coach through training camp.

Thankfully, Ryan gave no indication he was going to clean up the language.

Ryan and his foul mouth are unquestionably the stars of the show. For him to tone it down to a PG-13 level would ruin it, and negate the benefit of HBO, where pretty much anything goes.

I consider myself something of an aficionado of foul language, a connoisseur of cursing, if you will. I appreciate a good F-bomb as much as anybody, and Rex dropped enough in the first show to make a grandmother faint. I have absolutely no interest in the New York Jets, but I couldn’t help but watch. Whenever Rex was on screen, I eagerly anticipated the next hilarious thing that was going to come out of his big, fat mouth.

It took all of about 10 seconds into the show for him to start cursing, and I was hooked. Some may think he was hamming it up for the cameras, but my guess is that was just Rex being Rex. As someone who’s been in a few NFL locker rooms, trust me, by no means are Rex and the Jets unique in their dialogue. The only thing more prevalent than naked fat guys in an NFL locker room are the swear words flying back and forth like a gunfight.

So if you find Sexy Rexy offensive (which is perfectly understandable), don’t watch. Because no matter how much people complain, Rex isn’t changing.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Final: New England 27, New Orleans 24

Someone tell New Orleans this is an exhibition game! Trailing 24-21, the Saints on fourth and goal inside the New England 10 go for the tie as they would in the regular season and kick a field goal with 2:40 remaining to tie it at 24-24.
But with overtime threatening, Robinson connects with Darnell Jenkins for a 52-yard gainer to the Saints' 12. Gostkowski's boots a 28-yard field goal with 53 seconds to go and the Pats after a big hit by rookie safety Sergio Brown and a pick of the ensuing loose ball by linebacker Eric Alexander hold on for a 27-24 win.

New England 24, New Orleans 21 after three quarters

New England gets the ball first after halftime and Edelman is still at it. He takes a pass on third and five for a 12-yard gainer to the New Orleans 3 before Maroney eventually scores from a yard out.
But the 23-7 lead is again back to 10 when Larry Beavers returns the ensuing kickoff 97 weaving yards for a touchdown.
Beavers has one pro season on his resume after a college career at Wesley. Which is where?
Delaware! The Wolverines are ranked No. 3 preseason. In Division III.
Edelman takes a seat on the bench next to Brady as the Patriots go nowhere on their next series.
New Orleans then gobbles up 68 yards in four plays to pull within 24-21 midway through the third quarter.
New England's also got a nice young return guy in Devin McCourty, a rookie cornerback from Rutgers. He takes the ensuing kickoff 50 yards. McCourty returned the second-half kickoff for a longer gainer as well.
Zac Robinson, a rookie from Oklahoma State, becomes New England's third quarterback. And the third quarter ends with New England on top 24-21.

New England 17, New Orleans 7 at halftime

Here comes New Orleans early in the second quarter. With some New England help. Drew Brees on fourth and six gets Patriors cornerback Darius Butler on pass interference, then short passes, some power running and a 2-yard run to the left pylon by speedy Reggie Bush get the Saints into the end zone.
Brady's night (5 of 8 for 67 yards) is done after having a hot hand in his second of two series. Brian Hoyer's in and knows who to go to. Edelman hauls in two catches for 39 yards before Laurence Maroney's 5-yard touchdown puts New England's lead again at 10 points at 17-7.
Patrick Ramsey takes over for Brees with about five minutes remaining in the half.
Pats are getting some pressure at times on Ramsey - and they did sack Brees once for 11 yards.
Nice hit for a pass breakup by cornerback Jonathan Wilhite on Courtney Robey on a slant. It killed a Saints series.
The irrepressible Edelman eluded the New Orleans defense for a 22-yard reception to put the Pats on their 42 at the two-minute warning, but the scoring is done for the first half.

New England 10, New Orleans 0 after the first quarter

Maybe beating the Super Bowl champions will be a Brees.
New England gets on the board first against New Orleans in the first few minutes, but the Patriots wanted more than Stephen Gostkowski's 35-yard field goal that caps their first possession.
After all, Wes Welker clone Julian Edelman's 40-yard punt return after the Saints' first series put the Pats just 19 yards from the visitors' end zone.
But a short run and a couple of Tom Brady incompletes - a tipped pass at the line of scrimmage and one that fell far from Kevin Faulk coming out of the backfield - made it three and ... well, eventually 3-0 New England.
Edelman puts on the moves again on New England's next series. He takes a quick pass on the right side from Brady, slips a tackle at the line of scrimmage, and races 21 yards to the Saints' 16.
The Pats soon punch a run in for a 10-0 lead. It holds up through the first 15 minutes of the exhibtion season.

Rough Ryder

Forget Pacquiao-Mayweather. The new most-anticipated fight of the year is Gray-Pavin.

In what’s become a comical public feud, U.S. Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin and so-called reporter Jim Gray are at odds over whether Tiger Woods already has a spot on the U.S. roster.

First Gray reported that Pavin said he would pick Tiger to the team if he didn’t qualify. Then Pavin Tweeted (seriously, Twitter is out of control) that he was misquoted. Then Pavin had a press conference saying he was misquoted and no decisions on the Ryder Cup team will be made until next month.

Then, allegedly, Gray got all up in Pavin’s grill after said press conference, which led to Pavin trash-Tweeting (because tough guys talk smack on Twitter) about Gray.

There’s only one way to settle this lame case of he said-he said.
In one corner, 50 years old, standing 5 feet, 9 inches and weighing in at 155 pounds, 15-time PGA Tour winner, Corey “The Captain” Pavin.

In the other corner, 49 years old, height: unknown; weight: unknown (astoundingly this information was not readily available online), LeBron’s lackey, Jim “You’re Going Down” Gray.

Put these clowns in the octagon and let them settle their differences like ultimate fighters, instead of nerdy golf guys. Boxing is an option, too, but I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if wrestling, kicking and biting were allowed. For some reason, I just see a Pavin-Gray bout going in that direction.

In all seriousness, I’m inclined to side with Gray on this dispute. Yes, he’s a huge sellout, and to call his journalistic integrity questionable is an understatement. But I have a hard time believing he’s dumb enough to just make up some fake quotes, or take something Pavin said out of context.

Maybe Pavin thought they were off the record. Maybe he let something slip that he shouldn’t have, and blamed Gray for his mistake.

In any case, all this finger-pointing and Tweeting isn’t going to resolve anything. Other sports beefs lead to fights all the time, but has a golf argument ever resulted in fisticuffs? It’s long overdue.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Love Shaq

Whether you like the Shaquille O'Neal signing or loathe it, it's official. The Big Leprechaun, or whatever nickname you call him, held up his No. 36 jersey at a press conference on Tuesday at the team's practice facility.

Personally, I like it, but that opinion comes with a stipulation: Shaq needs to know exactly what role he's going to play on this team. And according to what he said at the aforementioned press conference, he does.

Winning, O'Neal said, is what brought him to Boston (because it surely wasn't the $2.8 million). He could have signed a more lucrative deal elsewhere, but he wants to win championship No. 5, and he wants to do it in the Green and White, the same colors one of his role models (Bill Russell) wore.

"Do I have that same type of hunger? Yes," O'Neal told reporters. "If I didn't I wouldn't be here. I don't like wasting people’s time. I don't like wasting my time. I've missed over 200 games. So I owe myself and I owe everybody two to three years left. I signed a two-year deal here. I'm going to give it all I've got. And I think Doc and the people will see we still have hunger, we're still trying to play, and I'm still trying to win. Because at the end of the day, when I close my book, it's all about winning."

The thing is, Shaq can still play quite a bit. The 38-year-old, 350-pound center can still defend in the low post. He can still rebound. He can still score. But most of all, he can wreak havoc on the block and give guys like Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo room to make plays. He can take a bit of pressure off Kevin Garnett.

Along with Jermaine O'Neal, he can fill a void left by Kendrick Perkins, who will be out for some time while recovering from a serious knee injury. And when the playoffs come around, the Diesel might be the missing link to that 18th banner.