Rocking the vote

These days, sportswriters (but mostly idiot sports bloggers) go above and beyond to bring readers a story that really has no significance, whatsoever.

Today’s example comes from the world of college football, where it appears University of Florida and all-world quarterback Tim Tebow wasn’t a unanimous first-team choice in the preseason Southeastern Conference poll. Tebow, the 2007 Heisman Trophy winner and two-time national champion, received all by one vote, which went to Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead.

The perpetrator? None other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier, a former Heisman winner at Florida himself. The Old Ball Coach went against the grain with his ballot, but did he really?

Spurrier said during a press conference this morning there was a miscommunication, he and asked SEC associate commissioner Charles Bloom to change his vote to Tebow. Apparently he allowed an assistant coach to fill out the ballot because, as you can guess, head college football coaches have more important things to do than fill out stupid polls.

(As a side note, I've always liked Spurrier because he's never forgotten where he came from. My example being, when he was leading Florida to great sucess during the 1990s, he always gave Duke - the first school to give him a head coaching gig - a vote in the preseason rankings. That's pretty cool.)

Anyway, what’s the big deal? It’s a PRESEASON POLL. Games have yet to be played, and if I’m not mistaken, Snead beat Tebow head to head last year.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m a huge Florida Gators fan, and to be honest, these kinds of things make me a little happy. Something you can’t do to Tim Tebow is challenge him. If there’s one coach out there who doesn’t think Tebow is the best quarterback in the best conference in the nation, he’ll prove to you he is.

Eight years after he left Gainesville, and the Old Ball Coach is still helping Florida win national titles.

The need for speed

What started out as some back-and-forth trash talking has turned into quite the bet, one that could ultimately get my arm amputated.

Sportswriter Josh Krueger and myself are always arguing: be it about Michael Vick, the dominance of the Patriots or who's going to win next year's state football championship.

So it was just another run-of-the-mill day when Josh and I were debating which sport is cooler to play in a league: volleyball or wiffleball. Josh is a member of a Tuesday night volleyball league in Newport, while I play wiffleball on a team in Portsmouth.

I told Josh that I had a pretty good pitching arm for wiffleball (OK, I said "rocket arm," and the rest of the discussion (verbatim) goes like this:

Josh: What would happen if you tried to throw a baseball now? Would your rocket arm fall completely off, since a baseball weighs about 1,000 times more than a wiffleball?

Scott: If I warmed up my arm, I truly believe I could get high 70s

Josh: You're on crack. You'd hit 55 on the gun and throw out your arm in the process. Your wiffleball career would be over.

We decided on 75 as the target. I'm not sure where or when this little showdown is going to happen (hopefully Saturday), but it will happen. I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous about getting up that high, but as a former pretty crappy Division III college baseball player, I have to believe 75 isn't that fast in the grand scheme of things.

To anyone reading this, chime in and let me know what you think. Will I hit the 75-mph mark and win the bet, or end up needing Tommy John surgery?

Worldwide Leader of annoyance

Lately, I'm starting to realize I hate ESPN. Sure, channel 711 is the one I switch to the moment I get up or get home, and it's the one I watch right before bed. But more and more, I'm beginning to wonder why.

Yes, I like highlights. I need to know who won and what's going on in the world of sport, and there's no better channel than the one based out of Bristol, Conn., for that sort of thing. Then again, there aren't too many other options.

What I don't need, however, is injected humor from the likes of Josh Elliott, who wouldn't know funny if it punched him in the face. Just tell me who won, and which players stood out. I don't need you spouting off the newest teenage jargon in an attempt to look cool. You're not cool. Deal with it.

I also don't need so-called analysts telling me why Michael Vick should or shouldn't be allowed back in the league. Analysts aren't there to give their opinion, they're there to break down the Cover 2 defense. Do that.

If it sounds like I'm somewhat bitter, it's because I am. I started watching ESPN when I was in the fifth grade, when Tom Mees was still alive and Chris Berman still had plenty of hair. I could watch the same SportsCenter episode over 15 consecutive times because that's how much I loved it.

Nowadays, I watch ESPN because I have to.

'Becks' needs a kick in the pants

I'll admit that I know as much about soccer as I do about quantum mathematics, but what David Beckham is doing right now is simply absurd. On Saturday night, the English star, who signed a monster deal to play with the L.A. Galxay of the MLS, apparently confronted a fan at the half of the team's home game.

Fans had plenty to say about 'Becks' and not much was positive. I guess I don't get why he was on loan to AC Milan, but Beckham has openly admitted that he wants to leave L.A. and play for the European club. Mr. Posh Spice was brought here to try to draw major interest to the world's game, but instead, he's made only enemies and infuriated the true fans of the MLS. Everyone else thinks he's just an overpaid joke. New England Revolution goalkeeper Matt Reis went as far to say that he thinks the situation is a complete distraction and takes away from the American league.

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the pond.