King of fools

You'll never hear my utter these words again, but I'm feeling a bit soft right now - I kind of feel bad for LeBron James.

Watching "The Chosen One" the other night, it's safe to say he's the baddest player on the planet (in my opinion, he and Kobe are 1 and 1A). But the sad part is that he thinks he's actually going to win a championship this season.

Let's forget that fact that he was on cover of Sports Illustrated for last week's NBA preview issue (although the guys at SI picked the Celtics to win it all), and that one of the Cleveland's biggest role players is a shotgun-toting whacko.

Instead, let's focus on the fact that Shaquille O'Neal is supposed to be this team's - and this city's - savior? Was it me, or did Shaq look remarkably slow the other night in the loss to the Celtics.

And while he might tell you he's focused on helping LeBron win a title, he can't be all that focused. According to an AP story, spokesman John O'Brien of the Cuyahoga County sheriff's office said O'Neal has applied to become a special deputy.

He would have the right to carry a gun and make arrests but not be a paid, formal employee. It would also require 36 hours of police training, and he'd have to take a police exam.

I don't know about you, but if I were so focused on winning a championship, I wouldn't be studying for some test. If Shaq wanted to do some light reading during his free time, "Free-throw Shooting for Dummies" would be a fine choice.