They hit me every spring, like allergies. When Major League Baseball teams are back in the news, Harry Doyle quotes pop back into my head.
Some of the best from Bob Uecker’s character in the “Major League” movies aren’t fit for print, but here are some of my PG-13-rated favorites:
“The post-game show is brought to you by … Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it.”
“Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.”
“Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.”
“Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.”
“Juuuuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.”
That’s a Uecker original, which he regularly uses while broadcasting Brewers games on the radio. In the movie, he was describing a Rick Vaughn wild pitch, which led to …
“Ball four. … Ball eight. … And Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on 12 consecutive pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close?”
And while “Major League II” didn’t come close to living up to the original, Uecker again stole the movie, as Doyle spent most of his scenes drunk in the press box, lamenting the Indians’ disappointing start to the season.
“Bottom of the 9th, Cleveland down 1 to nothing. Baker steps in, he’s 0-for ... I don’t know. Who cares?”
I bring these up, not only because they’re hilarious, but because Uecker, a Hall of Famer, will have heart surgery on Friday to repair a leaking aortic valve and an enlarged aorta, according to a Milwaukee Journal Sentinel report.
At least publicly, Uecker, 75, isn’t too worried about the procedure. Uecker began a Tuesday press conference by saying, “I have been added to the active roster of the club.”
Jokes aside, the original “Ueck” — as opposed to the “Youk” with whom Red Sox fans are more familiar — insists he’ll be back this season.
“I don’t want to quit. I don’t think I’m ready until someone tells me to,” he said. “Then we’ll probably have a scuffle.”
While I haven’t been able to listen to Uecker on the radio since I moved here, I hope Brewers fans will him back on the air sooner rather than later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Another favorite "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.
Thanks for the laughs.
Good luck to Uke, we'll miss him. It just won't be summer without Uke on the radio while out working in the yard.
Post a Comment