Poison oak

There are times, and they’re becoming all too common, when rivalries take a turn for the worse. Off the top of my head, I can think of at least two instances when fans of the Red Sox and Yankees have taken things a little too far.

One involves a stabbing, the other a vehicular homicide. I shudder to think what made these people engage in such horrible acts? Oh, that’s right, sports. I always shake my head when I hear these stories because they are so avoidable.

The most recent occurrence of rivalry hate has reared its ugly head, and this one is a doozy. Harvey Almorn Updyke, 62, of Dadeville, Ala., called into a radio show in late January saying he poisoned the oak trees at Toomer’s Corner on the campus of Auburn University.

These trees have been there for generations, and students throw toilet paper into the branches upon big victories for the football team. And no victory was bigger than winning the national championship over Oregon on Jan. 10.

This, apparently, enraged Updyke, a Crimson Tide backer whose team had won the national title the season before. But things didn’t go too well for Alabama this year, and Updyke simply wasn’t going to sit idly while the trees at Toomer’s Corner were dressed in toilet tissue.

No, he was going to kill them dadgum trees, then brag about it on sports talk radio. Updyke was arrested, charged with criminal mischief and released on $50,000 bond. The damage to the 130-year-old trees, which likely will die, the school said, is $2,500.

I’m not sure what the penalty is for one count of criminal mischief, and I know the punishment has to fit the crime, but these trees are more about sentimental value than monetary value. Besides, the trees didn't have anything to do with the Tigers' victory. Perhaps Updyke should have poisoned 'Bama running back and 2009 Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram after a less-than-stellar 2010?

I wouldn’t be surprised if the statue of good ol' Bear Bryant, which was being protected by police earlier this week, gets decorated in the orange and navy blue of Auburn. Roll Tide.