Spouting off at the brain

A few random thoughts before Josh Krueger and I settle a long-standing bet - whether or not I can throw a baseball 75 mph:

- I like tennis, but not enough to watch it at all hours of the night. The Australian Open, the first major tournament of the season, is under way, but the marquee matchups take place while most of us are sleeping. And because I read the recaps in the morning, I have little interest to watch the tape-delayed version in the afternoon. In fact, the only time I can remember staying up to watch a live sporting event is when the Red Sox played in Japan a few years ago and the 2002 World Cup quarterfinal between the U.S. and Germany. And the latter is because I had yet to go to bed.

- To Scott Zack, the fan who repeatedly called Celtics forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis a “fat boy” and then filed a complaint with the league after Davis responded with an obscenity: Get a life. Or at least go back to your mother’s basement and play a little more World of Warcraft. You’re the annoying little brother that nobody likes. Davis could be both fined and suspended, and Celtics coach Doc Rivers called Davis’ actions “unacceptable.” While I don’t disagree with Doc, I’d have done the same thing if I were Davis. Punched him, too.

- I know I wrote about the America’s Cup yesterday, saying how ridiculous all this fighting has been, but Wednesday’s revelation took it to a new level. Alinghi president Ernesto Bertarelli accused BMW Oracle, the American team, of using a French boat. This comes on the heels of another lawsuit filed by the Americans, one that claims the Swiss boat had its sails made in Nevada, which goes against the Deed of Gift.
“I am in it for the sailing. I am not in it for the legal fight,” Bertarelli said. “Now we are on BMW Oracle’s ninth lawsuit. Our boat is Deed (of Gift) compliant, but if BMW Oracles continues to contest our sails, they should consider their own issues, beginning with the fact that the ‘USA’ is a French boat.”
Look, I don’t know what to believe anymore, but my patience is running thin with this whole thing. Let’s scrap it and get another Volvo Ocean Race going — complete with a Newport stopover.

- Tiger Woods, apparently, is in a sex rehabilitation clinic in Mississippi. So what? So the guy has issues. Personally, I hope he takes care of those issues and gets back on the golf course as soon as possible. And if anyone really cares about Tiger’s personal life so much as to buy the rags that exploit him, you should look up Scott Zack’s number. You’d be great friends.

- The aforementioned bet between Josh and I started last summer, when I was playing in a wiffleball league and Josh was a member of an adult volleyball team. We argued over which sport was cooler. I told him that I had a rocket for an arm, which led to this exchange:

Josh: What would happen if you tried to throw a baseball now? Would your rocket arm fall completely off, since a baseball weighs about 1,000 times more than a wiffleball?

Scott: If I warmed up my arm, I truly believe I could get high 70s

Josh: You're on crack. You'd hit 55 on the gun and throw out your arm in the process. Your wiffleball career would be over.

So today we settle the bet. Stay tuned.